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Chapter Fourteen – End of Summer

Two weeks after "the resuce" the campers neared the end of their summer and the inevitability of back to school following the last hurrah at crazy camp Mount Oakham. It was a sad time for many and would be remembered by some as the most looney summer to have ever happened. Never within the long history and legacy of the camp had the counselor’s behavior been worse than the campers. There had been so much sex going on that it seemed the smell of it hung in the air, which of course had only added to Darcy’s frustration. Never before had the owner of the camp lost all semblance of sanity, and we’re not talking about Cat deBourgh.

No, Darcy had gone off the deep end. Everything had seemingly fallen down around his ears since Lizzy left. He was so sexually frustrated that he couldn’t even think straight. Those five remaining condoms were laughing at him every time he held her lacey, black boy shorts, but it was more than that; he missed her. He missed those acid-laced lips pressed against his. He felt bereft, yearning for her banter, her logic, her wit, and,  yeah, even her competitive streak … and that incredible sparkle in her fine eyes.

Rick had finally tired of watching his sad-sack cousin mope around the campground like a boy who just had his favorite toy taken away. It was time for some serious conversation – particularly when he found Darcy attempting to catch fireflies one night in the palm of his hand beside the lake.

“Yo, what’s up with you? You’re playing with fireflies like an eight year old. Have you been sipping Aunt Cat’s moonshine?”

Darcy ran his hand through his hair, eyes boring into his cousins. He dug into his pocket and tossed him the five Magnums. “Don’t need these any more,” he said and continued in his fascination with the yellow glowing bugs.

“Ahhh. I see. Your blow up doll drove away in her green Prius.” Silence fell heavily between them until Rick asked, “Are you in love with her?”

“What difference does it make? She’s not in love with me. She said she was only interested in a summer fling.”

“Yeah, well, in my experience, what women say and actually mean are two entirely different things. You’ve got to read between the lines and decipher their meaning as if they were foreigners speaking another language, or in Lizzy’s case speaking ancient Greek from the Underworld. For example, when that girl raised an eyebrow, what the hell did you think she was saying? Or that hand on her hip thing she does? If she slept with you, that should tell you something too. Did she?”


“Well then, after all the fighting you two did, you should read between those lines, too. The way I see it, cousin, is you have two choices, move on and chalk up your summer’s greatest achievement as the best lay you’ve ever have, or go after her and marry her because you’re a love sick puppy. You do know you have been totally pussified, don’t you?”

Darcy didn’t reply, so lost in his thoughts about his dilemma until Rick blurted out, “Now, I want to know why both Caroline and John have been scratching their genitals like they got crabs.”


It was the day, the final and last send off of the campers by Maddy and Eddie. Both taking stock of the achievements, setbacks, and challenges of their last summer in the Pocono Mountains. They both felt sad to close this chapter of their life together. It had brought them immense joy, but this summer was the most interesting and one that would remain in their fondest memories.

To recap … A. their nieces arrive, (aww how nice to see the girls); B. Cat flushes her medication down the toilet, (well this should be an interesting summer); C. Will is spied diving into the cold lake after staring at Lizzy-Bear’s backside, (hmm potential romance?); D. War breaks out (there’s a fine line between love and hate); E. Lydia became a drug-using, sex slave to their perverted counselor (not good, not good at all); and finally F. Sex and a whole lot of it, (Eddie and I never had so much sex in our lives.) 

Overall, it was a great summer.

In a repeat of four weeks prior, yellow buses bordered the gravel parking lot, awaiting the children who made their final good-byes to friends while others, who had been denied their addiction to electronic devices, rapidly texted as if heroine streamed lightspeed through their veins. Thumbs flew wildly posting on their Facebook wall ”Summer camp sucked” or “This summer rocked!”

Parents sat in their expensive cars awaiting their spoiled monsters back into the fold, and if one looked closely they could see their eyes welling with tears in the realization that their own summers of sex and freedom had come to an end. “Welcome back, Johnny. Mommy and Daddy missed you,” they greeted through fake smiles but thought, Just one more week, please God, one more week. I haven’t known the Big O in ages. Cars crept out of the parking lot as if they dreaded leaving with the passengers they carried.


Maddy felt good watching children like little Angela run into her mommy’s open and welcoming arms, both filled with love and kisses, so eager to enjoy the last couple of weeks together before school began following Labor Day. Her heartstrings tugged; she would especially miss the little ones, the sixes with all their antics, and prayed that great-nieces and nephews would someday be part of her life.

Wearing a tie-dyed Jimmie Hendrix T-shirt, red, gold, and green rasta knit hat, and combat boots, Cat stood beside Georgiana and Darcy, sniffling as all the children left.

“You know, Children, I’m going to miss this camp very much. It does an old woman good to see such happiness and be a part of watching the growing process of these kids from year to year. Your parents would be so proud, so happy.”

They glanced over at her, thinking she’d gone crazy. That was the most rational thing they had heard their aunt say in four weeks. She winked at them. “Now what’s this about my Anne and that de-flowered Amish boy eloping!? She better not start wearing one of those white hats or I’ll slit my wrists.”

Georgie laughed, “Well after winning the pot, Bill proposed.”

“Pot! What kind of pot!? What pot?” Darcy yelling thinking about the weed kind. Hadn't that caused enough trouble this summer?

“Oh! Well, I guess that Polaroid of Lizzy that I left in your pillowcase did the trick, because the two of you ended up doing the deed when you went to find Lydia. We had bets riding on it, and once you confirmed it with Rick, Bill won the four hundred dollars and a mess load of Skittles.”

Darcy grinned, very happy with his sister’s antics. “You put the photo in my pillowcase.”

Thinking she was in big trouble, she looked down at her hands and said, “Yes, don’t be mad.”

He lifted her in his arms and twirled her around laughing. “Mad? You were brilliant!”

Summer is over? Oh No!